Dedicated.

ded·i·cat·ed adj. 1. Wholly committed to a particular course of thought or action; devoted.

Good. Essential. Heavy. Risky. Invaluable.  All of these things come to mind when I think of what it means to be dedicated.  It's easy to have an 'out' when doing or pursuing anything and it's easy to simply not be dedicated to anything really. These days we can dabble in this and dabble in that and aren't necessarily required to dedicate our time, lives, effort to any one thing. We have opportunities within opportunities and either can't muster up the energy to decide or waste time weighing the pros and cons of each potential decision.  I feel like it's a catch 22 reality.  A bit of woe is me with all of these choices, can't decide, don't want to miss out or make the wrong decision{slash}honest desire to be truly dedicated to whatever or wherever God chooses for me.  It's such a frustrating battle of control & will because you can't have the latter if you aren't willing to let go of the choosing.

And you keep pondering the word dedicated and it's definition and realize that if you filter the noise, if you let go of the choices, if you understand that your insecurities are quite silly and very inhibiting, if you just breathe and dedicate (devote) your life, your being to the One who created it.  Quite possibly you'll happen upon the opportunities you're meant to happen upon. Perhaps the seasons that feel the most still externally are the ones where there's the most movement and growth internally. Embrace it.